Abandonment

Yeah Gidday (tryin’ tae mug up oan ma kiwi accent)

Anyway, no sooner have ah arrived than off they go – the pair o’ them, and tae Scotland of all places.  Here’s me jus’ settlin’ in and they’re up an’ oot.  Anywise ah was left with Sara and frankly if ah wisnae a dog and just ane foot high ah’d marry her.  Ye see, ah hid this wee leg strain (from chasin’ they cats) and ah thocht ma leg wus broke.  Well, it wisnae but Sara just treated me so right – aff tae the Vet was I, x-rays oh yes, no expense spared.  Must’ve cost Ma and Pa an airm and a leg (gettit?).  Anyway serves them right – leavin’ me like that.  At least ah’ve got Sara (I think it may be love).

Back they come all fu’ of themselves – “how’s ma wee boy?” They says.  I gave them the cold shoulder (sma’ as it is) and so did Baxter except he’s deef and hadnae noticed they’d gone (and wus back).  Sky couches, tapas in Madrid, wine fair at Lord’s Cricket Ground (Nursery End), Winchester Cathedral, Liverpool and the Cavern (fab eh!), rellies and freens in Glasgow, St Andrews (home of golf), Melrose (home of seevens) and London (home of the Tukie Embra – go on say it).  Business trip, some business trip, distributors, wholesalers, retailers - pull the other leg.  Actually don’t – ah’d fall over.  Ah kin tell a jaunt when ah see one.

“If music be the food of love, play on”.  Aye, me an’ the Bard are best mates.  “Let loose the dogs of war”.  Och aye that’s me right enough.  So, this week ah’ve got all these new freens – come up frae Wellington tae perform Twelfth Night right here at home.  Well, it’s ma favourite Shakespearian play.  Think ah’m jokin’?  Well just haud on.  Ah’m as cultured as the next man (dog).  Ah know ma Shakespeare and this is the best.  Thing is there doin’ it doon by my pond where ah go swimming, well up tae ma oxters.  They’ ve got this 1920’s theme – flappers, straw hats, boas and Noel Coward songs.  It’s really good – “Heaven, I’m in heaven.”

I wonder if Sara wid dance wi’ me??

Let the blogging begin...

Hello.  Och, aye the noo!!

Ma name is McLeod.  Ah’m the new Public Relations Advisor at Gladstone Vineyard.  A’ve this McLeod tartan collar (that ye cannae see).  A’m a Scottish Terrier but and A’m nearly six months old.  I wis born near Ngarawahia (in New Zealand, of all places) on the road tae Raglan so by rights I should be a Westie (West Highland Terrier, get it?) but am no’, am a Scottie.  I wisnae actually born on the road.  I was born in kennels wi’ ma brothers and sisters.

I missed them tae begin wi’ but my new uncle Baxter (he’s a boxer) has been muckle kind tae me and let’s me chew his legs.  He’s no’ much o’ a conversationalist but and disnae respond to my barking.  Actually, he disnae respond to much at all.  He’s a lot older than me.  He's so auld he's almost as auld as my Ma and Pa.

Ah’ve been made Public Relations Advisor at Gladstone Vineyard (posh eh!), I think, tae liven the place up a bit.  Ah get my board and lodgings (though I huvtae share with Baxter) and a fairly decent meal of a morning (though no porridge yet).  Otherwise I huvtae live off customer tips.  Ah’ve plenty o’ toys – a toy reindeer frae Christmas and a squeaky duck (excellent noise).  I like the two cat toys best, Freddie and Freda.  One’s a tabby and the other black just like me.  They’re good tae chase and I am sure next time ah’ll catch ane.

As Public Relations Advisor ah huvtae greet customers when they arrive; let them stroke and pet me (it’s nae bother); cruise the tables making sure everyone pats me again.  Ah’m pretty cute.  And then ah huvtae pick up odd titbits that fall on the grun’.  That’s the tricky bit – getting’ the customers tae drap stuff.

Anyway, I’ll keep in touch and let you know what’s happening here at the vineyard and how life is tracking.  I’ve got a lot to do to knock this place into shape but so far its been no’ sae bad.  Lang may yer lum reek.

Yours aye

(Lord) McLeod of Gladstone