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Ah weel it’s been a wee while since we hud our last wee blether. We’d just finished vintage and everyone was knackered. Anywise all the wines are safely in their tanks or barrels and me an’ Bella have had time tae relax and enjoy the rewards o’ a joab well done. Noo, we’re well into prunin’ wi’ frostie starts and lang days. An’ the bottlin’ o’ some o’ the new wines is underway

Talkin’ of well done (though we shouldnae) Bella’s been joined (for a wee while, shoosh) by two wee porkers by the names o’ ‘Sausage’ an’’Sizzle’. Nice names right enough but Ah don’t know why the oulds aye snigger when they tell folks. Anywise ah get along wi’ them fine an’ Bella pits up wi’ them as long as they stay away frae her food. Ye can come an’ visit them if ye like.

We had a great wee weekend around Bastille Day (quatorze juillet). Of course, ye know we (wee) Scots are great mates o’ the French. Those of you who have drunk our ‘Auld Alliance’ (our Bordeaux blend) will know the first auld alliance dates back to the thirteenth century. While it was a military alliance, the great thing then was that the best French wines came to Leith (Embra) before they went onto Tilbury (Lundin). This is why the first ever breath test was to be able to say “The Leith Police dismisseth us” without slurring yer wurds. Ah slur ma wurds anyway, so ye can never tell wi’ me.

The Scots luv fur Claret came frae thae days. Tha’s whit Rabbie Burns drank – explains a lot. In those days they drank it by the pint. At that time claret hud about 9% alcohol no like today’s 12 or 13 – but a pint?! Nae wonder Tam o’ Shanter could see witches and ghoulies as he rode o’er the Brig o’ Doon. Anyhow we had a wee decorous glass of our Auld Alliance as part of our special Bastille Day lunches. No me mind. I wus oan duty.

Apparently, les escargots were tres magnifique – they musta been because there were none left over efter ‘cos ah hud a good look. ‘Paris breasts’ were the most popular desert. Ah don’t know what James our chef was thinkin’. Ah’ll no’ try to describe the dish but it was two mounds of brulee with strategically placed cherries on top. Tres jolie, righ’ enough We had French music too and the tricolour was well in evidence. An’ ah had a great audience for ma rock retrieval exhibition.

During the school hoalidays we had a’ the weans here fur whit seemed like weeks but was only a few days. Actchully, it was rerr. They played on their bikes an’ ah tried tae keep up – see ma wee legs gaun like the clappers. An’ they threw stones for me which was great. An’ they let me play in the dress ups wi’ them ho’ nane o’ the cloathes quite fitted.

An’ now we’ve got Spring (printemps) tae look forward to. Soon enough it’ll be Daffodil Day an’ ah’ll have tae update ma stone pushin’ routine. They say ye’ve got tae have a good nose to work at a winery – well ah’ve certainly got that.

Au revoir pour maintenant

Vintage McLeod

Ah weel!  Ah havae tae say ah’m knackered.  See, this vintage, talk aboot hard work.  Well first there’s the pickin’.  Ah don’t dae much o’ that.  That’s fur Kyle and his team.  My they work hard – credit where credit’s due.  A course, before the pickin’ there’s a’ the decisions that go intae deciding what’s the right time tae bring them in, and what tae bring in an a’ that.  Ah don’t get involved in that much – it’s down tae Christine, Kyle and Alexis - tho’ ah dae check the odd grape tae see it’s ripe enough.  An’, of course if a throw in a wee bit o’ advice, they always listen – yeah right!

Ah dae most of ma work at the receival stage.  The grapes come in in big bins and Kevin (he’s Canadian but he’s OK) drives the forklift.  He tips the grapes intae the press under Alexis’s supervision.  She’s Canadian too (but OK).  She’s the boss so she tells Kevin whit tae do.  There married an’ a’ so Kevin has quite a life o’ it.  Anyhoo there are endless press loads and pressings and the juice is piped intae big tanks fur fermenting.  It’s non-stoap.  Occassionally, there’s a wee bit of spillage and that’s where ah step up and dae ma tasting.  It’s like a final check and if ah gie the nod then it’s all go

Sometimes the grapes go through the de-stemmer crusher tae get rid o’ the stems, before they go in the press.  Bhreagh works this or at least deals with the stems.  She’s a dab hand aroon’ the winery.  She’s Canadian too (Ah know!) and she husnae learned tae spell here name (what’s wi’ all the ‘h’s?)  Ye’d think at her age she’d be able tae spell proper (p-r-o-p-e-r).  Ah know ah’m too funny fur ma ain guid. 

Ah don’t know what it is with a’ they Canadians but at least they all come frae Nova Scotia.  Ah come frae Antiquus Scotia, get it – “Old Scotia”.  So maybe they’re ma rellies frae way back.  Mind, they don’t look like me.

Now, the big joab wi’ the reds is the plunging.  The reds stay on their skins fur three weeks afore they go in the press.  This gies time for the skins tae gie the wine colour but, ye huvtae stir the mix.  They ca’ it plunging because, tae begin, the grape skins form a cap at the top of the vat and ye huvtae plunge through that tae get the skins tae mix wi’ the juice.  It takes about three weeks for the skins tae become suspended in the juice an’ then ye can press it and pit that intae vats or barrels tae let the fermentin’ begin.

The plungin’s hard work so the young folks, Alexis, Bhreagh and Kevin dae maist o’ it.  Ah entertain them by chasin’ stones fur them – just tae take their minds aff the hard work.  The old lady does a bit tae help but the big yin is useless - and notable by his absence.

Alexis and Christine had a wee pow wow, not to be confused  wi’ a wee bow wow (me!).  They declared the vintage a success with really good flavours comin’ through.  So that’s good

Roll oan the prunin’ – but furst maybe a wee break.  Aye, gies a break!!

Comedy in the Vines

Ah like the title.  Ah saw a poster fur ‘Comedy on the Vines’ (5.30, Easter Saturday 30th March Gladstone Vineyard) an’ ah thoct “Aw no, no me an’ Bella oan the stage”.  Ah mean ah could dae a wee juggtlin’ act wi’ ma petanque balls an’ tell a few Scotty jokes but what’s she gonnie do?  Naebuddy would unnerstaun’ her.  Ah mean a few grunts can be a’ right at the right time but frankly her timin’s all aff.  Anywise ah read on.  Who’s comin’?  Jeremey Elwood, he’s great, Michelle A’Court she’s rerr and, if course, Steve Wrigley chews gum.  Gettit?  Aye, ah’m a right wee comedian when ye set me aff.

Talkin’ of comedy turns you should ha’ went an’ seen meat the beach at Taupo.  Now this is a bit of a long story but like Billy Connolly ah’ll get back tae the point eventually.  Ye see, we’ve had this great summer and we’ve had the weans Finn and Meg stayin’ wi us for quite some time furst at Taupo and then at Gladstone.  Ah get on great wi’ them.  Well they’ve got me in the watter, speshully doon the river at Gladstone. 

Ah’d never known ah can swim.  Anywise, ah can – sortie.  Ma plan is tae watch the weans get in sae far (up tae their oxters) and then follow them in.  What seems tae be the problem is ma steerage.  Ah keep forgettin’ tae turn aroon’ an’ heid back fur the shore (apparently).  Well by the time ah get tae mid-stream my wee legs are goin’ like the clappers but, being of robust build, it’s quite an effort to keep ma bum up while ah’m tryin’ tae breath at the other end.  So, gravity bein’ what it is, the bum goes down, the wee legs paddle faster, the nose goes up, an’ ah dae a very good imitation o’ a submarine with its periscope up.  Thankfully, the old folks are usually about tae gie me a wee lift an’ point me in the right direction.

Anyway, back tae ma story.  Here ah am on the bonny banks o’ Lake (Loch?) Taupo when out comes this jaicket thing which they pit oan me.  It’s quite comfortable an’ smart.  Anywise, ah boldly go into the watter in my usual enthusiastic manner (oh! aye am keen) and low an’ behold not only am ah swimmin’ but my bums being haud up in the water.  The jaicket’s some sortie flotation device so am able tae Keep paddlin’ in a horizoantal manner wi’oot my bum draggin’ me doon.  So that’s ma story but the comedy turn was when him with the grey hair and beard found a hannle oan the back o’ the jaicket, lifted me up wi’ it an’ started walking along the beach tellin’ folk’ ah was his new fashion accessory.  Ah wis black-affronted tho’ nabudy could tell ‘cos ah’m black oanywise.  Mind you, ah’ll know tell ye what ah cried him when he wis carryin’ me – but Billy Connolly wid ha’ been proud!

“A Guid New Year to yin and a'"

Well, ah’m jist back frae ma hoalidays refreshed and rarin’ tae go.  Ah’ve hud a rerr wee brek.  First, we went aff tae see ma mate Stanley in Waikanae.  They’ve moved, and noo they’ve no jist got the four weans, the dug, three cats and the four guinea pigs.  Now, they’ve got twa goats, goodness knows how many sheep (ah fell asleep counting) and six big coos or heifers or whatever.  They’re muckle big for a wee fella like me tae run aroun’ wi’. 

Ah hud been a wee bit run doon but Stanley’s da’ is a vet an he sorted me oot quick as you please.  Naebuddy unnerstauns tha’ ah’m a sensitive soul and need proper care an’ attenshun.  Thank goodness Stanley wis able tae set the vet right and get me back tae peak condition.

Then, we went tae Taupo.  Ah hud a wee dabble in the water there.  It’s fresh and guid tae drink tho’ there’s o’er much fur me tae think aboot drinkin’ the lot.  Talkin’ o’ drinkin’, which we weren’t, we saw in Hogmanay and hud oor ne’erday in bed.  Nae up partying for me and mine.  We were awake and had a wee snifter tae mark the occashun but we didnae go aff galavantin’ or first footin’ (first pawin’??) or naethin’.  Of course, the aulds are getting a bit long in the tooth an’ ah think a full day hoalidaying knackers them.

Must be hard getting’ up efter a wee lie in, breakfast, then a wee lie doon readin’ the papers, then doon tae the beach for a wee seat readin’ a book; lunch and a wee nap in the shade; the beach again for a wee snooze an’ then maybe a swim; back for a sangria or gandt; dinner, read some moar and it’s time for bed.  Oh aye, it’s exhaustin’.  Anywise while they were bein’ idle ah wis keepin’ in trim for the petanque.  You’ll be pleased tae know that pumice stones make a great substitute for petanque balls.  So ah kept ma skill levels up tae scratch for my role at Gladstone (between eatin’ and sleepin’).

Now, ah’m back at Gladstone, ah kin get oan wi’ the real thing – entertainin’ the punters.  It’s no’ bad bein’ back.  Ye see we’ve bin rearin’ some wee ducks an’ chooks.  We hud a nice lady frien’ lookin’ efter the hoose and the animals while we were awa’.  She done a great joab.  The ducks and chooks huv growin’ heaps an’ are a’ healthy. 

The ducks have been kept in ma run (ah know, a dug run) while ah’ve been away, jus’ tae keep them safe from the hawks above and the eels below.  Hope they don’t think they’re dugs.  They’re a’ guid.  Sadly one of them hud a sair leg afore we got them safe.  When ah sae a sair leg, ah mean nae leg at a’ (frae the eels).  Ah don’t know if it’s sair or no’ really.  Ma guess is it’s sair but ye canny really ca’ it a sair leg if it’s no’ there, or can ye?.

Bella

Also, Ah’ve got a new fancy wummin – Bella.  She’s a big wummin an’ a’.  Ah mean seriously big.  Anyhow Ah think she fancies me tae.  We’ve been oot walkin’ thegither a few times just roon’ the vineyard.  No much conversation jist a few grunts but it’s a start.  Ah’m no sure if ah should make the first move.  Ah’d hate if she wis tae fall on tap o’ me.  Ah may be stocky but there’s only so much weight a wee yin kin carry.  Ah think ah’ll bide ma time.  Dae ye think suggestin’ a diet would be a guid idea? – no neither dae I.