“A Guid New Year to yin and a'"

Well, ah’m jist back frae ma hoalidays refreshed and rarin’ tae go.  Ah’ve hud a rerr wee brek.  First, we went aff tae see ma mate Stanley in Waikanae.  They’ve moved, and noo they’ve no jist got the four weans, the dug, three cats and the four guinea pigs.  Now, they’ve got twa goats, goodness knows how many sheep (ah fell asleep counting) and six big coos or heifers or whatever.  They’re muckle big for a wee fella like me tae run aroun’ wi’. 

Ah hud been a wee bit run doon but Stanley’s da’ is a vet an he sorted me oot quick as you please.  Naebuddy unnerstauns tha’ ah’m a sensitive soul and need proper care an’ attenshun.  Thank goodness Stanley wis able tae set the vet right and get me back tae peak condition.

Then, we went tae Taupo.  Ah hud a wee dabble in the water there.  It’s fresh and guid tae drink tho’ there’s o’er much fur me tae think aboot drinkin’ the lot.  Talkin’ o’ drinkin’, which we weren’t, we saw in Hogmanay and hud oor ne’erday in bed.  Nae up partying for me and mine.  We were awake and had a wee snifter tae mark the occashun but we didnae go aff galavantin’ or first footin’ (first pawin’??) or naethin’.  Of course, the aulds are getting a bit long in the tooth an’ ah think a full day hoalidaying knackers them.

Must be hard getting’ up efter a wee lie in, breakfast, then a wee lie doon readin’ the papers, then doon tae the beach for a wee seat readin’ a book; lunch and a wee nap in the shade; the beach again for a wee snooze an’ then maybe a swim; back for a sangria or gandt; dinner, read some moar and it’s time for bed.  Oh aye, it’s exhaustin’.  Anywise while they were bein’ idle ah wis keepin’ in trim for the petanque.  You’ll be pleased tae know that pumice stones make a great substitute for petanque balls.  So ah kept ma skill levels up tae scratch for my role at Gladstone (between eatin’ and sleepin’).

Now, ah’m back at Gladstone, ah kin get oan wi’ the real thing – entertainin’ the punters.  It’s no’ bad bein’ back.  Ye see we’ve bin rearin’ some wee ducks an’ chooks.  We hud a nice lady frien’ lookin’ efter the hoose and the animals while we were awa’.  She done a great joab.  The ducks and chooks huv growin’ heaps an’ are a’ healthy. 

The ducks have been kept in ma run (ah know, a dug run) while ah’ve been away, jus’ tae keep them safe from the hawks above and the eels below.  Hope they don’t think they’re dugs.  They’re a’ guid.  Sadly one of them hud a sair leg afore we got them safe.  When ah sae a sair leg, ah mean nae leg at a’ (frae the eels).  Ah don’t know if it’s sair or no’ really.  Ma guess is it’s sair but ye canny really ca’ it a sair leg if it’s no’ there, or can ye?.

Bella

Also, Ah’ve got a new fancy wummin – Bella.  She’s a big wummin an’ a’.  Ah mean seriously big.  Anyhow Ah think she fancies me tae.  We’ve been oot walkin’ thegither a few times just roon’ the vineyard.  No much conversation jist a few grunts but it’s a start.  Ah’m no sure if ah should make the first move.  Ah’d hate if she wis tae fall on tap o’ me.  Ah may be stocky but there’s only so much weight a wee yin kin carry.  Ah think ah’ll bide ma time.  Dae ye think suggestin’ a diet would be a guid idea? – no neither dae I.